Delivered to your home or office. Thick and moist like fruitcake (more like sarcasm, and a bit piquant), or dry and thin (“cutting” irony), like a tortilla chip. We offer irony blends customized to your taste for the unexpected.
2: Vampire Removal
Dallas-Fort Worth’s most reliable and dependable removal service. Featured on Andy’s Guidebook and The Greensheet Paper. 24-7, 365 (extra charges on weekend and holidays; ask your Customer Representative.)
3: Vanquishing Empirically and Logically Invalid Economic or Political Thoughts or Beliefs from the Minds of Otherwise Rational Adults.
Our clients understand that it was not their fault they were completely gaslighted by the media lamestream. Their brains were and still are subjected to a powerful process that can only be described as texts and narrative they hear repeated over and over on TV that begin to speak the person, that is, the person begins to repeat those texts and narratives unquestioningly. At that point, you, the person, have lost independent control of your cognition, and it’s easy to rile you up about whatever, as you are now predisposed to do from trigger points inserted by into your brain, e.g., “Syria eats its babies with poison gas sandwiches; they are THAT evil.”
4: Using Statistical Data Science and Applied Econometric Analyses to Solve Problems for Organizations of all Kinds, and Delivering Oral and Written Reports and Studies to Senior Management.
Expert in Advanced Predictive Analytics (Statistical Data Science and Applied Econometric Analysis); Data Mining and other exploratory forms of data analyses; Structural Equation Modeling; Longitudinal Data Analysis; Logistic Regression (all types); Choice and Discrete Choice; all aspects of Survey Research, including data collection, design, execution, and analysis; Multivariate Modeling for performance measurement of programs, projects, and personnel, including HR analytics. Cluster and Factor analysis; LSS Greenbelt trained. Fluency in SAS, SPSS, SQL, NLOGIT, NCSS, Stata, R, Excel. Working familiarity with 5th generation predictive techniques (SVM, neural, gradient boosting; random forest, etc.).
Design, writing, and editing of CCAR/DFAST/PPNR modeling and modeling process management; professional and technical writing, including writing, editing, managing, and compiling of CCAR-related documentation; content for business development, including white papers, technical papers, blogs, and other marketing and educational materials. Experienced and expert in technical and non-technical presentations to both middle-managers and C-Level Executives and Directors.
All kidding aside, give me a call or a text. +1 940-435-2028. Or shoot me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org.